You can't imagine how many emotions and thoughts and the most painful thoughts about the future are going through my mind every waking minute. Torture is not even an accurate description. Torture is temporary and something you know will end at some point. This will never end. NO ONE knows what I am going through..............and will continue to go through for the rest of my life. I can't listen to music. I can't watch TV. I can't do anything. Every song either reminds me or has painful lyrics. I see TV commercials that remind me. I saw one this morning that had a quick five second scene that had affected me for weeks. I never shared it because of the context that would've only spread the emotions. I would've loved to have shared it, but under the circumstances, it would not have been fair. It would've only inflamed emotions and longings and desires.
I am so scared of the future. How can I do this? How can I make it? The separation will continue. She will grow farther and farther from me. I know what will happen in the future. I don't know how long it will take or how quickly it will progress, but it will happen. I have no doubts, none whatsoever.
No comments:
Post a Comment