Going through the motions.

I forced myself to get up and swim this morning. I didn't want to.  almost quit numerous times during the swim.  an interesting thing happened about 400 meters into the swim.  I was in my usual lane and I knew at least two of the girls who typically are in my lane had gotten in after me.  People were still getting started.  As I turned to swim the 50 meters back to the end where we always start, I was breaststroking and was able to see where everyone was.  I suddenly realized that my colleagues were no longer in the lane and I was the only one in it.  I immediately had this intense feeling of fear and loneliness come over me.  i could see our coach at the other end and other people milling around.  I knew one of my best friends was a few lanes away.  Yet, I was still overcome with this feeling that I had been left by the world.  I was able to take a few seconds and reason through the fact that, they, for some reason, must have switched lanes.  As I approached the end, our coach yelled at me to move over one lane.  she had already asked them to, I just had not seen her do it.  why would something like that strike momentary fear into someone my age?  but this is so typical.  I don't remember feeling like that in years and years.  It was something that would've happened when I was a kid.  It should not have happened as a child, and it certainly should not be happening now.