The most wonderful fantasy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9vcZ4PwJZc

It's never been difficult for me to fantasize.  So many good, so many bad, but always fantasizing.  My mind is damaged and I cannot stop it from racing.  I "discovered" this song while in Florida over Christmas '09.  I went on long walks in the heat and sunshine listening to it over and over.  It could be such a happy song to revel in.  Instead, it just brought more pain.  But what it also did was put the most incredible fantasy into my head.  I still relive the fantasy in my head every time I listen to it.  It was a fantasy not so much for me, but a fantasy of making someone else happy beyond words and seeing a display of incredible joy on someone else's face.  I'm not bragging, I just believe that if I was ever able to carry the fantasy out, it would produce unbelievable joy for that person.  I've played it out second by second in my mind.  It makes me want to come out of my skin.  I just want to be loved and wanted by that one special person so bad.  I've longed for it and yearned for it all my life.  There would be nothing better in life............EVER.............than bringing true, complete joy to a special someone else.  If I could ever achieve that, then I will have found the true love I've been searching and longing for.