I'm losing it.

I smoked seven cigarettes during a two hour phone call this morning.

I'm so tired, so physically and emotionally exhausted.  I want to go to bed so bad,......................but I'm scared to go to sleep.

I need to get away.  I need to go back to Albuquerque and spend some time alone in my hotel room.  I need to be alone, where no one knows me.  I need to die in my sleep.