It's only going to get worse.

Fall is always my favorite time of year, cuz the weather is cooling and leaves are falling.  I can think about putting jeans back on and wearing my long sleeved, hanging team shirt.  I can be comfortable and not worry about sweating all the time.  But it also affects my emotions deeper.  I'm more hyper sensitive.  And the days are getting shorter.  Which means it gets darker earlier.  Which means there are more hours in the day for me to be scared and emotionally down.  As I was flying east across the country late yesterday afternoon, I had my face up against the window the entire way, just staring at the landscape below.  As always, the wide open spaces and farm fields of the midwest had me mesmerized.  Everytime I fly over the midwest and southwest, I look down and stare.................and dream about how much I want to be down there, living a peaceful, quiet, simple life, secluded and free to walk and walk and walk.  I dream of a simple life with room around me.  As we moved east, though, those beautiful landscapes were replaced with people and buildings.  And then, as we approached and flew over the Continental Divide, the shadows were now being cast on the east side of every hill and mountain.  I could feel my fearful emotions tightening the rest of the flight.  I absolutely hate it when the sun goes down.  It will only get worse this fall.