So little to say.

I'm trying to refrain from constantly writing depressing and painful whinings.  Not much else to write, though.  Soooooooo, I really don't have much to share with the world.  I've made such a mess of my life. It's funny how, I want so much, yet I want so little.  It's just that the few things I want in life happen to be really, really important to me.  Is inner peace, the ability to relax, true love and the company of one special person too much to ask for? Evidently so.  Seeing all the mess that this has made in my life, I would kill just to be in the 99 out of 100 people on this earth who have passion for nothing and wander blindly through life, never really missing anything.

I can't help but continue to dream of a little house in rural Kansas and the perfect love in a pickup truck and warm summer evenings spent on the front porch listening to classic rock, thinking and talking about home and drinking beer from a can.  And laying in bed with the perfect love at night, with the windows open and the moonlight providing the only light.  I might never fall asleep.  Why couldn't I have known at 22, what I know now?  God, life is so unfair.