I think I have finally put it into words.

I have tried many times to put into words how I feel about my desire for true love in the past. While I feel I have been able to do a good job of putting my feelings into words before, I think I have finally hit my exact, for lack of a better word, “definition” of true love.  I have always defined it as the consummate combination of physical and emotion pleasure and sharing.  Anyone can have sex.  Anyone can gain pleasure from sex.  But sex is just a physical act.  A physical act, no matter how physical pleasuring, is, after all, only physical.  What I have been longing my whole life for is much more than that.  Sex, by itself, if unfulfilling.  It feels good, but in the end, it does not fulfill.  You can have it any day with anyone.  You can have it with a stranger.  Only the combination of the physical and the emotional provides the true love that I yearn for and, which I believe, escapes the majority of people in this world, most because they lack the innate desire for it.  They just don’t know.  I have “known” my entire life. I have had that need my entire life.  The need to be loved unconditionally.  The need to truly share my body and heart with one other person who loves me unconditionally and shares my desire for “oneness”, who is unafraid to expose herself to me and who will unconditionally allow me to expose myself to her.

With that in mind, yes, the physical is important, dare I say, crucial.  But, and here it is, the physical pleasure gained through physical intimacy is merely the end by-product of the explosion of emotions that two partners feel for each other when they become one.  Deep down, it’s not about the physical pleasure.  It’s not about the orgasm.  The orgasm is only the end result generated from an explosion of emotions of true love, of sharing each other, of being unafraid to bear your soul to your partner, of losing all fear and embarrassment and putting all of your trust in your partner.  When you find that true love, your goal is no longer the orgasm.  Your goal is then the outpouring of emotions and love and oneness that get you to that orgasm.  Your goal is to fill your partner with those emotions that lead her to orgasm.  At that point, the physical actions do not result in the orgasm……………….the emotions and incredible, infinite love for that person result in the orgasm.  The orgasm is NOT the destination.  The sharing and outpouring and explosion of emotions are the journey AND the destination.

Until I have that, I will never have known true love and I will never have been “released” to be myself and to be who I am.